Conversation Across the Political Divide

It can be civil

Hi Friends I’m providing this entire piece to both paid and free subscribers because I think it may be of use in these challenging times.

I recently had an unusual conversation with someone on the other end of the political spectrum. It was unusual because it was civil. This person and I were already associates/friends. We met through a shared interest in dog agility and though we’ve never gotten together simply as friends we always enjoy seeing each other and chatting at the agility events. We hadn’t spoken about personal issues or politics before.

The political conversation came about this time because I happened to camp next to this person’s site. She noticed me sitting out in my camp chair after dinner and popped over. I’m not sure why she brought up her political views, but likely because she knew that I was the former First Lady of Oregon and my life partner was the former democratic Governor.

I listened as she expressed her conservative views and concerns including not wanting to have other people’s sexuality brought up to her and frustration that the leaders pushing for climate change action expect regular people to make sacrifices but they don’t sacrifice anything themselves. Yet in-between expressing those views she noted that she had gay friends that she cared about and that she too was concerned about climate change and having a healthy environment. And she kept saying, “I really like you. I think you are a good person.” I told her the truth that I really liked her too. Her emotions were close to the surface.

I told her that I had been raised in a conventional Christian background and I couldn’t understand how Christians could support someone like Trump who was a sexual abuser and lived anything but the golden rule. She didn’t respond and I didn’t press. I don’t actually know if she supports Trump or not.

One of the most interesting pieces of the conversation was when she began describing an event she had attended that involved Christian worship and waving U.S. flags. I don’t know if it was a rally or just a worship service or what and I didn’t ask, just listened. If I heard her correctly, she said that antifa had showed up and disrupted the event but that the local news had reported it otherwise, even though she and others had video of the events that transpired. She contacted a reporter and told him about the video but he would not change his reporting.

I couldn’t clearly make out the details of the event she was trying to describe but I sure could see that she was emotional and disturbed by it. I know that Oregon does indeed have a pretty strong antifa presence and they have caused a lot of damage. I also know how blatantly dishonest the media can be since I and my partner had been in the center of a massive media smear campaign. To my surprise she said, “I know. What you guys went through was so wrong.” She went on to say she thought he had been a really good governor.

We talked a bit about how skewed the media is and we agreed that neither “side” is getting the truth. We also discussed that even using the words “other side”, which we’d both done several times, further drives the divide. Finally, seemingly near tears, she said, “I’m just so tired of hate.” I sighed and said, “Me too, me too.”

I’ve been thinking about our conversation a lot. My friend is what I would call “right-wing”, and she believes the “Deep State” and political elites are misleading people and that our country is in a dangerous position. I would be considered liberal or “left-wing” and I believe we’re being lied to and misled by the corporatocracy and certain political elites and that our country is in a dangerous position. As I’ve written about before, the MAGA agenda scares me and would be disastrous for democracy, nature, women and more. I know from personal experience that right-wingers and MAGA types fear what will happen if liberals take control. Somehow, they can jive their fear of losing personal freedom with their willingness to abolish a woman’s right to control her own womb, and I can’t understand that. However, my “side” is also hypocritical. For example, flying private jets to climate change talk-fests. The point I’m making here is that the fear on both sides is real.  

I think part of the political unrest in this country is being driven by a sense nearly all of us share that our system, our society, is broken. Leaders on both “sides” of the aisle have failed to effectively tackle the really pressing issues before us. We are pawns of the for-profit, corporate media and political parties who are more focused on gaining and maintaining power than using that power to courageously deal with tough issues. There are certainly ideological differences and differing visions for what a healthy America would look like but one thing I think most of us would agree on is that what we’ve got now isn’t working. That gives me a spark of hope.

At the end of our conversation my friend and I expressed our appreciation for one another and hugged. A short time later, she took her dogs out to potty and one of hers and Olive got into a fight through my portable fence. Ah, alas, two steps forward, one step back. But hey, at least there was some forward.

P.S. I am going to experiment with avoiding saying “sides” and instead say across the political spectrum.

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Former Oregon Governor and Me on this Challenging Political Climate

Somewhat related to the above, for the first time my life partner, former Oregon Governor, John Kitzhaber and I teamed up to deliver a Sunday talk. We spoke about spiritual understanding in our personal lives and this crazy political climate. Here is a video of that 35-minute talk.

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